Route 3 : turning point

Although i don't want this to ever happened but you are not getting younger.
your sickness are getting worse.
there so many things that i want you to share with me.
i want to you to see me take back all that is mine,
to see me become what i want.
but i won't let you feel sad.
i will live happily even if u are no longer here to see it.
i know u wan it to be that way.
i know u wont worry because i have someone here always by my side other than u.
those lyrics above, thought its not all related. but most of it means to me.
because i will be ready if its time for u to leave..
:(

Route 2 : Patience

Its been a few days since my first post.
 had problem with my internet connection.
its still down by the way.
Anyway, enough with the warm up.
Recently i have finally reach my limit of patience.
It was not solely because i was provoked.
I'm on the brink of losing someone who have been guiding me my whole life.
It's sad to know that i might be losing her anytime and it will be impossible to bring her back.
She's my grandmother. She used to be the only one that matters to me the most.
She knows me more than anyone did.
She will always sees right through me.
She had stroke 2 weeks ago, and another one few days ago.  
I went to visit her though she was unconscious. I was extremely upset and i felt a bit lost.
Then somebody just had to brought up a topic that i really don't want to hear about at that time.
What happened after that i won't elaborate.
Lets just say the 'somebody' get what he asked for.

Route 1

To be frank, i've never blogged before, or did i?
Anyway i'm gonna start by introducing myself.
My name is Afif(obviously!) and i'm 20 this year.
why afif's boulevard?
the road i'm taking now, is full of thorns and holes. 
always trying to pull me down.
lately, it's just getting worse and worse. 
right now, i have to hold on till i get back everything that i have lost.
it wont be long. 
I was brought to this world with a life full of dreams and fantasies.
these dreams and fantasies belongs to me and i will always get it back if it was taken from me.

Right now, i'm just waiting for the door to open. then i will grab everything that is mine and nobody can say anything about it.